A wise man is a loner.

the more gregarious, the more mediocre

the more gregarious, the more mediocre.

those who praised him for his diligence and diligence turned into blue stickers, while those who called him defiant and unsociable turned into red stickers.

these stickers stuck firmly to his suit coat, and no matter how much he tore it off.

the nightmare of Chenggong Kuangui begins.

he realized that he was so unsociable in the eyes of others.

in order to reverse other people's impression of him, he began to change his behavior in all aspects:

give up his midday charging time and go to have fun with colleagues;

because he wants to fit into the circle, protect employees who do false accounts;

observe other people's thoughts carefully before doing anything;

...

but what about the results?

instead of becoming everyone's favorite friend, he was reduced to a submissive loser, and was secretly accused of being a "gullible single-celled creature" by his colleagues.

this can't help but make people full of emotion.

We are all eager to be gregarious and recognized by everyone.

even if you don't get used to it and don't like it, you will force yourself to integrate into the group.

however, if you are an eagle, living in a sparrow bird, you will only degrade your ability to fly; if you are a giant whale, curled up in the shallow waters of the fish, you will not have the courage to sail far away. Writer Wang Kailing once said: "crowds are often people's graves."

that's true.

the more gregarious people in life, the more they lose the ability to think for themselves.

you think you are gregarious, but in fact, you are just being assimilated by mediocrity. And this will hurt you sooner or later.

there is a pine caterpillar experiment in psychology, which tells such a truth.

if you let several pine caterpillars form a circle at the edge of the flowerpot, you will find that they climb forward one by one, even for seven days and seven nights, until they are exhausted and die.

in fact, there are enough pine leaves in the middle of the flowerpot to feed them, but none of the gregarious pine caterpillars try to change course.

this is the tragedy of all gregarious people.

Life is short and time is impermanent. Why force yourself to be gregarious?

there is a saying that lions and tigers are always alone, and only foxes and dogs are in groups.

it's really not worth wasting a lot of time and energy in order to fit in.

deliberately gregarious, not only can you not get what you want, but also make you lose your own judgment and gradually become a slave to the collective will.

02

Smart people are not gregarious.

Maugham said:

all good people understand that gregariousness means nothing to themselves. In the early years of Douban, a netizen @ Renwu posted a post, which later became popular all over the network.

he also once lived in the shackles of gregariousness:

when he first went to college, he couldn't figure out what he wanted. whenever he had free time, he went to the Internet cafe to play games, sometimes even eating, tapping the keyboard and ordering takeout.

later, he discovered his new hobby and began to write poems and draw carefully.

but whenever a classmate approaches, he will quickly cut to the interface of the game. Because he is afraid, afraid of his own loneliness, so that he seems out of place.

he is like a white chess falling into a pile of black chess, trying to paint himself with black paint in order to fit in with the crowd.

however, after a period of time, he found that his occasional works were loved by a lot of people. Those people praised him for being a maverick and never asked him to fit in.

he finally plucked up his courage and wiped off the black paint and shone brightly.

now, he has published his own book and fulfilled his dream of studying abroad.

but his classmates still live a gregarious life and eventually become ordinary people.

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the older people get, the more they understand that they are outdated and sociable, and they can't change anything except a short sense of security.

in fact, the process of trying to fit in with yourself is also a process of desperately denying yourself.

but when mortals live in the world, everyone has their own edges and corners. If you blindly choose to be gregarious, the surface may look as smooth as a mirror, but the inside may already be devastated.

not gregarious, it means keeping edges and corners and sharpness.

Let you walk through the world of wind and rain, still holding a sword and shield in your hand.

Let you go further and further even if you know that the road ahead is full of thorns.

as Mr. Yang Jiang said:

when you understand this, you will understand the true meaning of being unsociable.

throughout the ages, none of those who are alive are gregarious:

Thoreau, a famous writer, worked and ate himself for two whole years in the cabin of Walden Lake, basically cut off from the outside world, and wrote Walden Lake, which is famous for his clear writing style.

Jobs, who is well known by his classmates as "a guy who is difficult to get along with others", founded Apple by thinking when he was alone, with annual sales reaching billions.

Jobs, who is well known by his classmates, is called "a guy who is difficult to get along with others". However, by virtue of his own thinking when he is alone, he founded Apple, which sells billions of dollars a year.

.

mediocre people tend to like to socialize with others. It is easier for them to put up with others than to challenge themselves.

but smart people don't want to make trouble for themselves. They prefer to immerse themselves in their own world, which is much more interesting than the crisscross of the wine table and the fragrant sideburns of Vanity Fair.

actively refuse to socialize, give up useless connections, enjoy alone time, and wait for the flowers to blossom and fall.

for them, loneliness is not the isolation of personality, but the independence of soul.

03

Life is so short that you don't have to fit in

"I don't fit in, do I want to change?"

debater milk tea is compared with Tetris. She said:

We are all Tetris, and those who are willing to fit in have disappeared from the rest of the world.

in fact, the strong are good at being alone, while the weak are just gathering together.

Zhuangzi said: "to come and go alone is to be unique; to be unique is to be the most expensive."

means that loners are rare, but it is because they are rare that they are the most precious.

know that life is your own, not someone else's.

you don't have to spend some unknown money, find some bad people and say something innocuous.

not all groups are suitable for your participation, and not everyone understands what you are thinking.

if you don't bring it in life, don't take it with you when you die.