Easygoing is the quality, low profile is self-cultivation, kindness is the choice.

Zhou Guoping once said: "apart from eating and sleeping, people do nothing more than do things and interact with people, which constitute the main content of life."

indeed, in our whole life, no one can live as an island, and we always have to deal with all kinds of people.

you may have been regarded as weak and timid because you are too easygoing; you may not be strong enough because you do not like publicity; or maybe you have always been kind to others, but you make people feel stupid.

however, only when we experience more, can we find that many of the things we see are only superficial and incomplete.

especially in dealing with others, the greatest compassion is not to judge the hearts of others with one's own heart.

the highest state of getting along with others is actually hidden in these three sentences.

01

easygoing is not a fear, but a quality

Zhihu netizen Yang Fan told a story.

she has always been an easygoing person.

when she was in college, no matter what activities were carried out in the dormitory, as long as she did not violate her own principles, she seldom put forward different opinions.

on weekdays, she will not take the lead to find fault, and when there are occasional conflicts in the dormitory, she will remain neutral.

she seldom blushes with others. No matter what others do to her, she will choose to take a step back and never argue about anything.

in her opinion, as long as she can bear a lot of things, patience will pass, and she doesn't have much loss, and doesn't damage her relationship with anyone.

some roommates teased her that she was a "good old man", and she laughed it off.

perhaps in the eyes of many people, Yang Fan's agreeableness is somewhat compromising, but only Yang Fan knows that she just doesn't want to care too much.

in fact, the more mature a person is, the more tolerant and easygoing he is to others, the more he or she can keep his posture flatter or even lower.

because they understand that a comfortable relationship is not for contention, but for harmony, which is the key to a long-term relationship.

Ni Ping's Quotations of Grandma also said that in her impression, grandma seldom quarreled with people with a red face, and she was an approachable old lady.

at the beginning, a neighbor wanted to hide dozens of batches of cloth at his grandmother's house in order not to be classified as a rich peasant.

but later, after the incident was exposed, the neighbors blamed it all on grandma in order to protect the future of their families.

Grandma didn't fall out with her neighbors because of this, but she still took good care of them. When the apples were ripe in the autumn, she still sent some to the neighbors.

because in grandma's eyes, neighbors also have their own difficulties, so there is no need to worry about it so much.

some people say that easygoing people look silly and are always submissive in the face of the attitude of others.

No, easygoing people are not really timid, but disdain to argue with them.

they are calm and calm when things happen, and they also have their own attitude. It's just that this attitude is soft, gentle and non-aggressive.

as Lin Qingxuan said, "A soft heart is not as muddy as mud. It has a tolerant vision. It transcends everything and embraces everything."

easygoing people have a heart as soft as water, which can accommodate all things in the world and can tolerate others.

this is not only an ability, but also a rare quality.

they will take each other to heart and make each other as comfortable as possible.

Life is short. Let's learn to be an easy-going person with the corners of our mouth up and the corners of our eyes smiling.

02

low profile is not weak, but a kind of self-cultivation

Zheng Banqiao, a famous painter and calligrapher in the Qing Dynasty, once opened a studio, and next to the studio was also a studio owned by the local painter Lu Zijing.

Lu Zijing is good at drawing plum blossoms, but Zheng Banqiao doesn't usually draw plums. If a guest asks him to paint plums, he will introduce them to Lu Zijing's studio.

also often praise Mr. Lu for being first-class in plum painting, but his own level is not worth mentioning at all.

after hearing this, Lu Zijing was a little complacent and thought that Zheng Banqiao's level must not be as good as his own. It is not humble to say that if I were the second city of Suzhou, no one would dare to rank first.

when this was told to Zheng Banqiao, instead of being angry, he laughed it off.

later, Zheng Banqiao was about to leave Suzhou, and Lu Zijing came to see him off before leaving.

this time, Zheng Banqiao drew a high-level plum blossom and gave it to Lu Zijing with a casual wave.

looking at this plum blossom, which is much higher than his own, Lu Zijing, who has always been supercilious, was suddenly stunned and finally realized that Zheng Banqiao was not as good as himself, but that he kept a low profile and did not like publicity.

Zheng Banqiao keeps a low profile, not because his painting skills are not strong enough, but because he knows how to hide clumsiness in everything, give face to others, and save his own dignity.

this is not only a kind of wisdom, but also a kind of self-cultivation.

there is a saying: "the water is deep and slow, expensive and late."

means: the deeper the water is, the slower the current is; the more powerful the person is, the less publicized he is.

because they don't need to prove anything to the outside world, their strength comes from inner wealth, not from showing off.

keep a low profile and never represent a person's incompetence.

on the contrary, the more low-key people are, the more they know that their roots have to go deeper before they can go higher.

there is a saying in Cai Gentan: "the low ground becomes the sea, and the low man becomes the king."

when a person reaches a certain level, he will understand.Bai: most of the really wise people keep a low profile.

03

kindness is not a fool, but a choice

Get ready to shop a fantastic hippie style gowns for wedding and display natural sense of beauty? Immediately after buying, you get a peace of mind.

Please answer 1988. In the eyes of many people, Tak-sun's father is a particularly stupid person.

when he meets a shopping old woman on the road, he will buy all the old woman's things just so that the old woman can go home earlier.

when he sees a child selling things, he will buy some, even if he doesn't need them at all.

he can't help many people, even if he was cheated on the subway and bought a few bottles of fake magic water;

even if he had guaranteed for his friend, the company went bankrupt, and his friend left without telling him, he can only shoulder all the debts, he still adheres to his kind heart and chooses to be kind to others.

because, in his opinion, kindness is not a fool, but a choice.

everything he does follows his heart.

there is a question on Zhihu: "in this society, is kindness equated with stupidity?"

there is a piercing answer: "kindness is essentially a choice from the heart." If a kind person knows what he is doing, what he means, what he has given, and does not hurt anything, then no one is qualified to judge him to be stupid. "

True kindness is a choice of loyalty to your heart and a bottom line of self-adherence.

Russell once said: "of all moral qualities, the nature of kindness is the most needed in the world."

at any time, kindness is always an indispensable quality for a person.

however, kindness is not about sacrificing yourself and accomplishing others, but about having your own bottom line.

as Sanmao wrote in "the West Wind does not know the Phase": "if kindness is just giving, then I would rather not have it."

there is a ruler in life and a degree of kindness.

only by keeping a good bottom line, keeping a good heart, and bringing goodwill to everyone around you, can you be wise and kind.