Family is the best school for children, and these four kinds of immortal families are the easiest to raise excellent children.

the hottest topic discussed among parents in the past two days is the news of the 2021 undergraduate pre-admission list at the University of Oxford in the UK.

among them, Zhang Hengyi, a 17-year-old girl from Chengdu, is most loved and praised by her parents in the group.

Zhang Hengyi not only has excellent academic achievements, but also has a wide range of interests. He often participates in various clubs and off-campus activities, and likes playing the guitar and singing.

apart from exclaiming, "excellent children really belong to other people," we may also be filled with questions: how did she do it from a medium grade to a top school in the world?

in fact, success is never accidental, and her excellent family environment is indispensable to her excellence.

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she grew up in a family full of love and democracy. No matter how busy she was at work, her parents would pick her up at school on time to pick her up, have a big meal, and talk about her happiness and unhappiness.

if there is a goal, willing to work hard, willing to work hard is her excellent source of power, then good parents, good environment is the booster of her success.

educator Spencer said: "the family environment plays an extremely important role in cultivating a child's mind and ability."

so if you want to raise excellent children, parents should provide their children with a good family environment as much as possible, then we can learn the following four practices of immortal families.

01

families who know how to let go give their children independent wings

Last year, Zhao Zehua, the only child in Shaanxi who won the honorary title of "good Youth of the New era," learned to roll steamed buns when he was three years old. now he is eight years old, and he is skilled enough to roll a steamed stuffed bun crust every three seconds.

since childhood, he can understand the hardship of his parents' money and the difficulty of life. In order to help his parents lighten their burden, he will insist on getting up early every day and help his parents roll out their buns for an hour before going to class.

"when people are young and filial piety is big, they know filial piety and practice filial piety."

behind independence, diligence, self-consciousness and filial piety, in fact, it is inseparable from his parents to let him go properly, so that he can have the opportunity to experience the true taste of life.

when the reporter asked Zhao Zehua what he wanted to be when he grew up.

Ozawa said: "I want to be a scientist and invent a robot that rolls steamed buns and a robot that sells steamed buns, so that mom and dad don't work so hard."

you raised me, I understand your hard work; you protect me, I return your kindness.

the children raised by families who know how to let go are not only independent, but also more grateful, but in our lives, many families actually have two extremes of their children:

or overprotection, "fear of melting in the mouth, fear of falling in the hands", blindly take care of and spoil the children gradually.

either extreme control, children must do what adults say to do, children do not have their own ideas, become sensitive and ingratiating.

in fact, both of them are not desirable.

Love and Independence says that all we can give our children is two lasting legacies: one is the root, the other is the wing.

We should regard children as independent individuals, they have their own personality characteristics and preferences, and should respect their choices and feelings.

on the premise of respect, give the child full freedom, let him do what he can, and exercise his abilities.

instead of making decisions for the child, let him deal with some decision-making problems independently, learn to choose and be responsible from an early age, and become a decisive and responsible person.

02

families who know how to control their emotions can make their children fly more steadily

there is a film in Taiwan called "VR resumes domestic violence: how scared children are in the face of parents who are out of control." from the first perspective, we can experience children's fear of parents who are out of control.

in the film, the little boy shoots other toys with a toy gun. When the father sees it, he chases the child and rebukes him loudly and threatens to beat the child.

then the mother shouted frantically at her child, "Why are you running?" What if I fall? I told you not to run. Why didn't you listen? "

in the whole process, parents become more and more grumpy and ferocious, from scolding, to shouting, to breaking things,

, and the initial reason is that the child is mischievous when playing with toys.

A psychologist once said that human memories of pain are tens of times more sensitive than memories of happiness.

in our scolding in the name of love, our love has long been turned into a beast eroding our child's sense of security.

Wu Zhihong once said: children are the receivers of parents' emotions, and when parents are uneasy, children will be alert immediately. When the parents relax, the child feels happy immediately.

in fact, every child is dancing on the tip of their parents' tongue, and the casual language of their parents may be the way for their children to go in the future.

A parent who is emotionally stable can make his child feel love and make the family more warm.

parents who are really far-sighted will not be the product of emotions. They will understand that the real meaning of educating their children is to "talk to their children gently."

A family that knows how to control emotions will teach children how to love, how to face setbacks, and how to digest their own emotions, which will make their children more rational, sense of security and confident, and will be of endless benefit to their lives.

03

for families with a clean and orderly environment, children are not easy to lose their way

before the exposure of the high achiever dormitory of Peking University, which attracted the attention of many netizens. Can you imagine this is a dormitory for a group of technical men?

the desktop is clean and tidy, with no extra sundries except for the necessities of study and life.

the books and daily necessities for study are classified and placed clearly.

Harvard Business School survey shows that

the children with neat desks in a school tend to be those with excellent, optimistic and cheerful grades. Because of the arrangement, they have learned to plan, learn to be patient, have no dust in their hearts, and have a clear face.

A tidy and orderly family environment and lifestyle tend to make children's affairs more organized.

A person's family environment can also see the person's living habits, personality characteristics, and even values.

Harvard Business School also shows that outstanding people with a strong sense of happiness always live in a clean and clean home environment, while less happy people, by contrast, tend to live in a messy and dirty environment.

living in a messy environment for a long time will have an impact on children's physical health, and their mental health status is not optimistic.

Medical Daily reported that overcrowding, noise and lack of organization of family affairs can lead to poor health of children between the ages of 3 and 5.

and children who grow up in a disorganized environment all day will produce negative energy and become irritable and irritable.

when children regard clutter as a norm, children will also develop the habit of throwing things around and have no sense of order and classification of things.