Five things I didn't understand until I was thirty years old.

01

make yourself strong

"it is unreliable for a person to be attached to anyone."

if you read this sentence and think that anyone can betray you, fail you, or treat you badly, then you may not have grown up.

read this sentence, if you are peaceful, calm, and know that relying on yourself may not be the only way, but the most useful way out, then congratulations, you have become more and more mature.

of course, it is OK to ask others to hold an umbrella for you. After all, it is also a kind of wisdom to know how to borrow power, but only if you have your own umbrella.

when one day other people don't help you, and you don't have to struggle, you can at least say goodbye politely and honorably, and then protect yourself from the wind and rain.

02

learn to control your emotions

I am not a long-term person who is out of control.

but before the age of thirty, I made several mistakes.

at that time, maybe he was still young, thinking that he could lose his temper, vent his dissatisfaction, and cover up his helplessness and helplessness with anger.

but later, when I ate it, the bitter consequences of losing control of my emotions, and the pain of repeatedly torturing myself afterwards, I learned my lesson and grew up.

Napoleon once said, "A man who can control his emotions is greater than a man who takes down a city."

I used to think that this sentence was a little exaggerated, but now I agree with it.

A truly strong man is not to defeat the enemy, but to defeat yourself first.

if a person cannot control his own emotions, he does not have the capital and courage to defeat anyone else.

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it is important to remember that those who are out of control are always losers.

No matter how reasonable you are or how aggrieved you are.

03

accept everyone's gradual distance

this year, my biggest gain is to learn to accept.

accept that others treat me well, accept that others treat me badly, or accept that others treat me from good to bad.

before I was thirty, my mind was still three.

if others treat me well, I think it will always be good.

if one day, other people are not good to me, or are not as good as they used to be, I can't accept it, or I can't figure it out, or even feel that the whole world has abandoned me.

in fact, there is no one who should treat you, and always be nice to you.

this truth, even I have written it a thousand times in the article, at that time I thought I understood, I thought I had learned.

it wasn't until later, when I was tossing and turning in the middle of the night that I couldn't sleep for many days.

nothing is permanent.

because change is the normal state of life. There are good and bad, that is to say, there is no good or bad, it just depends on whether you can afford it and put it down.

the kindness of others to you is a superfluous gift.

one day, someone else took it back and didn't want to hurt you, but withdrew their heart and sincerity to you.

so, in the face of all losses, there is no need to force and retain.

after all, what you lose is never what you deserve. You should never regard what you are used to as your own, given to others.

04

spend time on things you like

I used to, because of various concerns, meet people I don't want to see, do things I don't want to do, and even waste some unnecessary time.

after the age of 30, I have become more self-willed than before, or I know how to allocate and respect my time better than before.

time is life, which everyone knows, but how many people actually do it.

if you lose 100 yuan today, you will feel heartache, because it is a real loss. But if you waste 100 minutes, you think it doesn't matter, because if you waste it, you waste more time.

once, an acquaintance invited me to dinner.

I pleaded that I was busy, but in the twinkling of an eye, I went to the yoga studio.

actually, I know exactly what I want.

instead of wasting time, an hour of greeting is better than an hour of exercise.

it's not that exercise is useful, socializing is useless, but exercise makes me happy.

the British writer Maugham once said: "in order to keep the soul quiet, one has to do two things he doesn't like every day."

for me, in order to make the soul happy, a person has to do at least one thing every day to make himself happy.

for example, reading, thinking, writing, exercise, meditation. These are my five magic weapons and the backbone of my spiritual world.

if I offend anyone for this, it must not be my intention. Because I'm not important enough to really offend anyone.

I'm just being myself greedily.

05

always stick to your inner belief

I have changed a lot over the years, especially in my state of mind and state. I can't say it's all getting better, but I'm clearly aware of and feel my metamorphosis.

but there is something constant, and that is what I believe in my heart.

to this day, after the age of 30, I still believe that the best thing in the world is not wealth, not fame and wealth, but faith, hope and dream.

to me, these things are not a slogan or a form, but a fire in my heart and illuminate me.A beam of light.

if there is a little bit of improvement between who I am today and who I used to be, it must not be because of my own efforts, but because these invisible things, like seeds, keep taking root in my heart, making me a better person a little bit.

I can't say that all my dreams will come true. There is no way to say that my persistence and choice must be correct.

but I know that I can never ignore the voice in my heart and always follow the path I believe in my heart.

although I often suffer a lot for this.

but the strength, courage and beauty it brings to me are irreplaceable and irreplaceable.

never give up and be an idealist.

was my goal in life five years ago, but to this day, it is still my goal in life, so I am sure that it will always be my goal in life until I am at least fifty years old, if I continue, until the end of my life.