Good parents are divided into three layers, most of which are only on the first floor

when you become a parent, the question that you think about most is how to make your child a good person.

so we try our best to make money, buy school district houses, sign up for cram schools, and try our best to help our children stand on a higher starting line.

however, it is often unsatisfactory.

what exactly is the reason?

recently, a mother and son in Sichuan may have given us the answer.

my mother is a doctor in the hospital. My son is 9 years old and is in the third grade of primary school.

one day, the son accidentally turned to his mother's English notes for the postgraduate entrance examination. looking at his mother's serious study notes, the boy first borrowed notes from his mother and saved them for the college entrance examination. Unexpectedly, he choked up.

when the mother asked the reason, she knew that the child was reflecting on herself and was not studying hard.

since then, children's learning attitude has changed a lot. whether it is major study or sideline expertise, they will be completed on time, quality and quantity.

Mom said that there has always been an atmosphere of learning in their family, but she did not expect that such a small move could induce such a touch in her child.

what kind of parents, what kind of children.

parents are their children's first teachers and their primary imitators.

parents walking in front, even if they step into a hole, their children will follow.

there is a kind of educational wisdom, which is invisible, but it often plays a tangible role.

if this power is divided into three layers, it is probably as follows:

parents at the first level discipline their children with nagging and reason;

parents at the second level burn themselves to illuminate their children;

parents at the highest level are good at using their own better life to become lanterns to guide their children.

01

being reasonable is the most useless method of education in the world.

once, I thought I was the most reasonable mother.

remind children to face to face every day:

it's not strange to take the initiative to say hello when you see someone;

when eating, don't chirp your mouth, it will look very uneducated;

go to bed early and get up early, don't read in bed;

Don’t you think that it is time to add some super trendy rose gold bridesmaid dresses to your wardrobe? Whatever your choice, take advantage of a huge discount of 70 percents!

when you do your homework, don't put all your books on the table. people who are not organized will make a mess.

Mobile phone is the "drug" of the 21st century, so you must stay away from it.

it's almost 12:00 and I'm still holding a book and staggering in bed.

every time I do my homework, I am like a child buried in a book.

and the mobile phone is more important than my mother. Every time I want to play with my mobile phone, I have to have a big fight.

once, I complained to a friend that it was really difficult to raise children nowadays.

she threw me a sentence: all the major principles are understood, and it is difficult to control small emotions.

and tell me: you know it's not good to stay up late, so why do you post on moments after 12:00?

as everyone knows, smoking is harmful to health, but cigarette sales remain high.

at that time, it was like a slap on the head.

thinking of Zhihu, a netizen once said: parents only know that they are reasonable, but they have never examined themselves, and whether what they have done is reasonable or not.

very often, when we educate our children, there will be a contradiction:

often regard education as a simple thing, thinking that children will certainly and must behave and grow up according to the principles summed up by their predecessors.

however, in practice, we often feel that such a good "truth" is very "powerless".

Rousseau once said: being reasonable, losing your temper and deliberately moving are the three most useless methods of education.

after being a parent for many years, I have come to understand that education has never been a "you tell me, I will accept" thing, but a process that requires initiative and demonstration.

educating children, simply relying on "preaching", is a kind of lazy education.

02

it has never been more money and less money

in recent years, Zhu Zhiwen, who has changed from an ordinary farmer to a big star, has been active in people's topics.

as a parent, it is easier to pay attention to the growth of his children after he became famous.

when Zhu Zhiwen first became famous, his son was still a primary school student, no different from ordinary children, naughty but cute.

as the father becomes famous, ordinary children become "star second generation". The family has more and more money, but the state of study is getting worse and worse. They spend a lot of money. They can't even write their own name at school. They are idle all day long. He also said:

"my family is so rich, why am I still studying?"

when Zhu Zhiwen is at home, his son still goes to school, but when he is performing outside, he often receives phone calls from his wife and his son plays truant again.

later, he sent his son to boarding school. As a result, he changed several schools in a row, and the teachers were unwilling to teach him.

since then, my son has dropped out of school completely.

his daughter is not much better. She is obviously a teenage girl, but she only knows how to do two things at home: eating and taking express delivery. She is surprisingly fat.

the father is becoming more and more capable and his family is getting better and better, but the child has become the object of everyone's sorrow.

to investigate the root causes, one or two can be seen from Zhu Zhiwen's sentence many years ago:

"A son can farm at home, as long as he finds a reasonable wife and will be enough for the rest of his life. If your daughter, find a closer mother-in-law.It's fine. "

People's Daily published an article entitled "Education Reform should start with Family Education". It points out the "five levels" of parents:

first level: willing to spend money for their children;

second level: willing to spend time for their children;

third level: begin to think about the goal of education;

fourth level: improve and improve yourself for the sake of educating children.

level 5: try your best to support and encourage children to be the best they can, and also set an example to support them to become who they really are.

for so many years, Zhu Zhiwen has been working hard to do a good job in his career and never blinks in spending money on his children, but he has forgotten that what children really need for education is the heart of their parents.

otherwise, you will only give your whole life and everything you have, and you can only become the child's "cash machine".