How about a cigarette tonight?

# smoking is not a negative behavior, but an emotion.

in 2000, in Malena in the movie, men rushed to grab her first and then lit a cigarette for her. With her graceful posture and sexy red lips, she took a deep breath and looked at the people in the street. It has undoubtedly become a very classic scene in my mind.

the image on the screen makes me always think that smoking is a cool thing, at least it looks cool.

until I also smoked the first cigarette in my life.

just know that in addition to "cool", there is another reason, is "irritable".

the unprecedented negative emotion that night drove me to do such a thing. I didn't feel nervous about "buying cigarettes for the first time" when I went to the supermarket. I was even adept at picking up the lighter in the box. I still remember that the landlady looked at me with an ambiguous smile, and at that moment I really felt that I was doing something "incorrect".

hide at the end of the corridor fence. The moon was round and deserted that night, but it was a pity that I didn't go out with my cell phone. Otherwise, I wanted to look back and see what the only thing that witnessed "my first cigarette" looked like. It was a long, minty cigarette. I forgot whether I had hesitated when I finally lit it. I only remember that my mind was full of negative thoughts, all speeding up the movements of my hands.

the smell of peppermint mixed with a faint smell of smoke filled my mouth, and I was afraid to swallow it because I always thought of the picture of "lung cancer" in biology books, even though I knew it wouldn't be enough for me to smoke the whole pack of cigarettes that night.

at the end, I threw the cigarette butt into the dustbin and found that I seemed to have made a wrong decision. I was not afraid that others would find out. I was afraid that the big black plastic bag would catch fire because the fireworks had not been completely extinguished. I was really afraid. So I went back to my dorm to get a full glass of water and poured it all down, so the last gray smoke of that night disappeared, and I never touched a cigarette again.

this is my experience of smoking.

I didn't mention it or hide it, because I don't think smoking really means I've done anything bad, and I don't mention it because I know it may be a very different thing. Anyway, it's all in the past, and that's it.

Yes, in retrospect, the memory of that cigarette is far better than the annoying memories of that night.

probably because it was the first cigarette in my life.

@ limy

# do you mind if I

VV ended her three-year long-distance relationship?

the trigger was her boyfriend posted a smoking profile on Instagram in February.

at that time, she had a big fight with her male friend and came to complain to me angrily.

it wasn't long before she accidentally saw her boyfriend's newly pierced ears and tattoos on her collarbone.

since then, countless hot wars have turned into a cold war and come to an end.

the day she broke up, Hong Kong issued a yellow rain warning.

in the fog all over the world, she smiled sadly and said to me, 'maybe I don't know him very much.'

then I realized that there was more than just a cigarette disagreement between them.

but she couldn't see his face clearly in the smoke.

I don't think I know you. Not because you smoke, but because you didn't ask me if I mind the smell of tobacco the first time you picked up a cigarette; not because you pierced your ears, but because you didn't ask me if I liked the earrings you chose before you pierced your ears; it's not because you tattooed a new pattern anywhere on your body, but because you didn't share your favorite pattern with me in advance.

I don't know you anymore. Even if I make overseas phone calls and video chats every day, I am not in every decision you make. So I can only, like everyone else, suppress the exclamation mark full of greetings after seeing the picture, and only leave a message to ask you, when did you learn to smoke? Is your ear inflamed? Does the tattoo hurt?

feel that you are strange, because the distance between you and me is no longer the distance between the hugs, the distance between desks, the distance between the classrooms next door, the distance between the first and the end of the team, and the distance of a telephone line behind a different place.

I gradually do not appear in your photos, gradually do not understand your status, and gradually, like the other 398 non-star friends on your friend list, I can only know where you are through your status positioning.

there is no difference between those who like you and those who don't like you.

what does it matter if you smoke or don't smoke, tattoo or don't tattoo, drink or don't drink?

as long as you are happy, that's all right.

I just want you to ask me before you borrow the light, do you mind?

@ Mr. Muyi

# because it's you

I remember last Mid-Autumn Festival night, a group of buddies decided to wait for sunrise all night on the rooftop of the teaching building. After playing all the imaginable games, empty wine bottles lay all over the floor, and when they reached the lowest temperature in the wee hours of the morning, everyone began to fall into collective silence. They took out lighters and cigarettes one after another, and D handed me the lighted cigarette, "would you like a bite?" She picked her eyebrows in surprise when she learned that I didn't smoke. "I thought photographers would smoke." Well, it's still such a long night. why don't you just sit there and wait for dawn? are you sure you don't want to warm yourself up? " It turns out that smoking has the effect of "heating".

when Grandpa came to my house when I was a child, the house was filled with the smell of choking smoke. As for the taste of words, I think "unaccustomed" is more appropriate than "dislike". It's just a simple personal preference, just like some people can't stand the smell of durian. I never equate the words "smoking" with "depravity".

I have a lot of friends who smoke, and they give a lot of reasons, some because they are young and rebellious, some because they need inspiration, some to kill time, and one called "because he likes it".

my friend Dori is a singer. She said that she first met him on her birthday Party. A stranger in the dark borrowed light everywhere because she lit a cigarette. She pulled out a birthday candle to light a cigarette for him. "I saw his face for the first time in the smoke." He is a lyricist, he always smokes several packs of Lanzhou when he writes songs for her, so she is obsessed with the way he smokes and feels that the smoke in his hand is like a cloud machine and the smoke ring is like a romantic symbol. After the breakup, she was addicted to smoking until her voice was hoarse.

later, when I went to her house, she didn't smoke much anymore, but there were many cigarette packages on the cupboard, such as Lanzhou, Marlboro, Peony, Mild Seven … However, my eyes stayed on the camellia box with a sentence written on it, "getting to know you at the beginning of your life is like returning to an old friend."

@ Zhang Thorn

# I can't stand him, he can't stand it

23:00 on April 15, 2016, the messy second formal recruitment is over.

here comes a graphic designer, two writers, and the event planner is still looking for it. So today may be their first tweet on chaos, but this is not their first show, it can only be regarded as "hello", because tonight's topic is my impromptu idea, so everyone is in a hurry with me, but sometimes, urgency can also write good things.

A few days ago, I went to a coffee shop with my high school classmates to catch up. In just three hours, he said he had to go to the toilet almost every half an hour. I knew he was not in a hurry because there was still half the coffee left on the table.

the smell of smoke when he came back made me know that he was actually going to smoke, and for a moment I thought he was miserable, because the so-called "smoking addiction" was just the result of willpower being raped. Addicts not only have to put up with the feeling of being controlled by things outside their bodies every day, but also have to find all kinds of excuses to prevaricate their dissatisfaction when they smoke. It's as if you know exactly how to get a full mark on this problem, but you always tell yourself that as long as it's not zero.

being controlled and deceiving yourself is, in the final analysis, the weakness of willpower.

when I paid the bill that afternoon, I said to him, "you might as well quit smoking."

he smiled, and then sputum broke out in his throat as he tried to say something, interrupting our conversation.

We smiled awkwardly. No one said another word and left.

it's so sad that you have phlegm when you laugh and you still want to smoke.