It's no use being good at a child without rules.

recently, a video shot at the Shanghai Nature Museum sparked outrage.

in the specimen display area, which is off-limits to tourists, a little boy shuttles back and forth as if no one is there, even touching the specimen with his hand from time to time.

and beside him, the mother not only did not stop it, but loudly instructed her child to pose for pose photos.

many netizens commented that it is recommended to be included in the tourism blacklist.

there is a saying in "Family Education": freedom with rules is called liveliness, and freedom without rules is called impudence.

however, some parents, mistakenly thinking that rules are an accomplice to stifle their children's nature, regard laissez-faire as a happy education, and finally cultivate children who lack a sense of rules.

as the saying goes: a country has its own law, a family has its own rules, and there is no square without rules.

if parents want to give their children a bright future, the most important thing to ignore is rules education.

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01

your laissez-faire is ruining your child

Professor Li Meijin once said, "if you are kind to him before you are three years old, and when you are three to six years old, authority is the rule."

but in real life, the idea of many parents is: "the child is still young, it is too early to say the rules, and he will be sensible when he grows up."

A few days ago, I heard a friend who was a teacher tell the story of the students in the class.

that is a clever and lively little boy. Usually the teacher teaches new knowledge points, but he always gets through one by one.

but the biggest characteristic of this child is that he has a bad temper. If he is a little unhappy, he will splash and roll.

once, when his mother picked him up from school, he suddenly grabbed his mother's cell phone and cried that he wanted to watch cartoons.

my mother persuaded her patiently for a long time and promised to show him as soon as she got home, but he still didn't want to, and even hit his mother hard with her head and started to move her hand.

parents waiting to pick up their children one after another accused their children of "not knowing the rules" and "neither big nor small", but the child's mother smiled and said to everyone: my son and I are usually like friends, and we rarely lose our temper today.

on another occasion, the boy was not convinced because he lost the game in PE class and directly pushed the winning classmate a big somersault.

the teacher ordered him to apologize to his classmates. he still looked like a bully who was not afraid of heaven and earth, and did not feel that he had done anything wrong.

finally, it is the parents who rush to school to make amends for their children and give each other's parents a smile, but are reluctant to scold their son.

"there is an adult bear behind a bear child" says: good habits may not be handed down from generation to generation, but bad habits must be inherited.

in life, how many parents regard "being friends with their children" as the whole of education, and only see the equality and harmony in the parent-child relationship, but do not see the most basic principles of life.

as a result, in the process of giving up the bottom line and indulging their children again and again, the child has become an annoying "bear child", and the parent has also become a "bear parent" who makes no distinction between right and wrong.

as the saying goes: to love his son but not to teach is not to love; to teach but not to be good is not to teach.

to really love a child is not only to be friends with him without rules, nor to stand out for him without distinguishing rewards and punishments, but to let children distinguish between right and wrong and abide by the rules.

parents who have no bottom line to satisfy their children do not realize that they do not fundamentally teach their children to behave and understand reason, and in the end, it is the children themselves who are destroyed.

02

No matter how good a child is, it is no use to be excellent.

Entrepreneur Inamori Kazuo said: many parents regard unruly as lively and lovely, and unreasonable as independent. Both parents and children need education.

if parents ignore the most basic rules and restrictions, they will not be able to teach really good children.

in the movie all coming, there is a typical "unruly" child.

he went to the hot pot restaurant with his parents and loudly declared the name of the dish "hairy belly, duck intestines, mouse fish."... "

while reporting, he glanced at the waiter and asked, "do you remember?" After the waiter nodded, he answered "no" again.

seeing the waiter angry and anxious, the boy's mother immediately said, "the child is still young", with no intention of blaming her own child.

in daily life, such news is not uncommon.

not long ago, a 7-year-old boy in Sichuan came to home and dropped dozens of pebbles from the 28th floor.

residents of the community quickly called the police when they found it. Until the police arrived at the scene, the dull sound of "bang bang" did not stop.

the police later found out that it was all because the little boy wanted to "have fun." Fortunately, the dozens of pebbles only damaged 12 cars and caused no casualties.

but the harm of falling objects and children's disregard for safety rules are frightening.

lack of awareness of rules, sometimes can not help but hurt themselves, but also hurt innocent people.

it is said in Yan's Family motto: "Father and son should not be strict; flesh-and-blood love cannot be simple. Jane does not take care of filial piety, while he is slow to rest. "

A good car without rules is like a racing car without a steering wheel. If it is light, it will fail, and if it is heavy, it will kill you in a car crash.

03

rules and love are never singles.

Why do many parents fail so often in setting rules for their children? Most of the reasons can be divided into two types.

one is that the rules themselves are unreasonable, and the other is that the process of enforcing the rules is unreasonable.

there are some family rules, only punishment, no reward, only negative feedback, no positive motivation.

and some parents, once the baby is crying and acting like a spoiled child,Compromise immediately and forget the hard-made rules.

this kind of rule education obviously can not achieve the original intention.

some time ago, there was a piece of news that impressed many people.

A four-year-old girl suffered temporary deafness because she was slapped by her mother's "rules" and suddenly perforated the tympanic membrane.

afterwards, the mother explained with fear and heartache that her daughter was trying to go out to play, but it didn't work no matter how much she tried to stop it.

the mother didn't realize the seriousness of the problem until her daughter covered her ears and cried, saying that her ears had been "buzzing".

in the eyes of many people, there is nothing wrong with what this mother has done. At most, she has not mastered her strength well, but for parent-child education, this is naked "only rules but no love".

people often ask: if you set rules for a child, won't it kill the child's nature? Those who think so have fallen into a misunderstanding.

in fact, love and rules always go hand in hand.

when Liang Qichao was six years old, he was severely criticized by his mother for lying.

after dinner that day, the always gentle mother pulled the young Liang Qichao in front of her for the first time, spanked dozens of times and laid down the rule of "don't lie" to him.

at the same time, Mother Liang solemnly told her son that a liar not only knowingly committed the crime, but also deceived himself and others, and must not do it again.

"all evil in the world begins here, and you should abstain from it!"

his mother's admonition of combining justice with mercy left a deep impression on young Liang Qichao and made him clear the bottom line of not lying.

the real rule is not punishment or intimidation, but the boundary and bottom line of behavior.

only when children feel the bottom line can they better take steps to explore the world.