Li Meijin: no matter whether you scold or punish, you can't cultivate excellent children!

there is a good saying: if the Tang monk did not have a hoop spell, Sun WuKong would have been a monkey all his life.

this is equivalent to what children will become if adults indulge their children to be naughty and mischievous, regardless of whether they are scolded or punished.

Professor Li Meijin once said:

Please remember: strict is love, loose is harmful. Every minute of your strictness will become a possibility for the child to get better.

parents learn to be "cruel" in order to cultivate mature children.

01

Chinese parents

are overindulging their children

have seen such a picture:

photo of a mother kneeling on her knees for a simple reason, begging her child to go to school.

Children are too lazy and self-willed to go to school at an early age and want to give up their studies.

the mother tried every means but failed to persuade the child. When the child asked, "if you kneel, I can consider it", the mother really knelt down to her son.

however, what is even more chilling is that children not only do not understand their mother's efforts, but find it very interesting. They take pictures of their mothers and upload them to their moments with the caption: happy every day.

Mother's humble appearance is distressing, but "the poor man must have something to hate".

as one netizen commented:

in a nutshell, the child's behavior shows that his usual way of being educated is to get used to being spoiled and indulged.

how many parents are doting their children too much.

parents love their children, let alone hands-on education.

but excessive indulgence will only lead to ignorant "bear children".

02

spoil and indulge the white-eyed wolf

some people say that the saddest thing as a parent is to give all he has, but raise a white-eyed wolf who doesn't know how to be grateful.

A few years ago, such a tragedy occurred.

at Shanghai Pudong Airport, a 24-year-old man who returned from studying abroad stabbed his mother nine times in a row to pick her up, leaving his mother in critical condition.

and he killed his mother simply because he thought his mother could not meet his needs for living expenses.

but in fact, during his more than five years of studying abroad, the tuition and living expenses were borne by his mother alone, spending more than 1.5 million yuan, and the money was spent frugally and frugally, and even sold her only house.

but what about him? When his mother paid everything and still could not meet his needs by borrowing everywhere, all he got was his hatred and waved the butcher's knife at the mother who gave birth to him and raised him.

No one knows that parents' selflessness fosters "white-eyed wolves" who hate themselves.

in recent years, there have been a lot of such news.

A man in Shanghai asked his mother for 20,000 yuan but failed to return the bank and beat his mother violently in the street.

A man in Shaanxi unexpectedly poisoned his parents in the water in order to defraud insurance compensation, resulting in the unfortunate death of his parents.

A woman in Sichuan slapped her mother in the face after a dispute with her mother.

parents bear a large part of the responsibility for why these people have become uneducated and ungrateful wolves.

it is conceivable that in every step of their childhood, no matter what demands they have or what they have done out of line, these parents must be unwilling to discipline and punish, but blindly protect and connive at them.

but in the end, he blindly indulged and indulged, accustomed to self-centered, uncourteous and shameless scum.

"White-eyed Wolf" was born not because parents gave too little, but because parents gave too much.

03

Today you are not willing to discipline your child

tomorrow he will be severely educated by society

Rousseau said, "do you know what can be done to make your child an unfortunate person? That is to be obedient to him. "

A habitual son is like killing a child. Parents indulge their children blindly and are not willing to discipline them, which will only put their children on the road of no return.

has anyone ever asked Li Shuangjiang if he beat a child? Li Shuangjiang said: "if we don't fight, we don't want to give up. Sometimes we really want to fight, but we can't, so we just bluff." Before I could fight, my tears fell first. "

many parents share this mentality, but it is precisely because of this mentality that unfortunately they are also deducting step by step:

in the third grade of primary school, Li Tianyi pushed a second-grade classmate downstairs;

when he went to high school in the United States, Li Tianyi replaced his classmate's protein powder with washing powder and threatened them not to tell the teacher.

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the unprincipled connivance and indulgence of Li Shuangjiang and his wife again and again have become hotbeds for nurturing criminals. In the end, Li Tianyi became the initiator of the gang rape case that shocked the whole country, and ushered in a ten-year prison sentence.

parents all want their children to live a happy and carefree life, but love without principles and bottom lines will only ruin their children's lives.

as the writer Li Yue said, "the happiness of a spoiled child is likely to be limited to childhood."

parents can easily forgive their children, but the outside world will not easily forgive lawless children.

by then, it will be too late for parents to regret it.

04

behind every excellent child

is inseparable from the "ruthlessness" of their parents

. Strict control is love, indulgence is harm.

on the way of education, parents need to be a "cruel person". Don't always feel sorry for their children and be indulged.

speaking of Guo Qilin, I believe everyone knows something about it.

he entered everyone's eyes with the role of "Fan Sizu" in "Qing Yu years" and won high praise. He is not only the "son of Guo Degang", but also an excellent actor.

the reason why Guo Qilin has made such a great achievement is inseparable from the strict education of his father Guo Degang.

Guo Degang laid down a lot of rules for Guo Qilin when he was very young, and he usually had to beat and scold him.

Guo Qilin lives with his brothers. In addition to his own study tasks, his father asked him to get up early to practice with his brothers.

many people have questioned Guo Degang's way of education, but Guo Degang said:

under such strict education, Guo Qilin has known the rules since childhood, has a calm personality, and keeps a low profile.

most of the parents who are really far-sighted are a little cruel.

because they know that children will always grow up and parents are bound to leave, so it is really for the good of their children to be cruel when it is time to be cruel.

parents, who is not loving deeply and ruthless at the same time.

05

four principles should be followed in disciplining children.

there is no greenhouse outside the campus, and there is no children's play when they grow up.

you can spoil your children, but the outside world won't.

A child always steps into society. He suffers outside, and no one will pet him in the palm of his hand.

this society is cruel. If you always treat your child as a rare animal that cannot be beaten or scolded, can there be any hope for your child's future?

instead of waiting for children to be beaten to the head by society in the future, it is better to educate children strictly from an early age.

as parents, we should always remember that strict control of children is to make them understand things, distinguish right from wrong, and make them better and better.

if you want your child to be good, you must discipline him properly:

set rules, set clear standards, and give appropriate punishment.

Please control your emotions and don't command your child in an angry tone.

spend more time with your children, learn to respect them, and not magnify their mistakes.

parents lead by example. What you want your child to do, you have to do it yourself.

the beloved son of parents is a far-reaching plan.

A child who is tightly regulated when he is young will be very aggrieved, but he will be grateful to you when he grows up.

for the good of the child, you want the child to be excellent, so it's okay to be ruthless.