People are at a low ebb, don't talk to anyone

in the TV series Yu Huanshui, there is such a line:

No one will really sympathize with me.

when I feel bad, when I can't sleep, only the darkness sympathizes with me.

when I fall down while walking, only the road will sympathize with me.

when I die, only the grave will sympathize with me.

the older you are, the more clear you are: joys and sorrows, ups and downs, is the normal state of life.

No one has the extra mental strength to bear the bitterness of others. Only by self-realization can they pass by themselves.

01

people's joys and sorrows are not the same

there is a saying in the six ancestral Temple Sutra: "if a person drinks water, he knows whether he is warm or cold."

Eagles fly in the sky, fish swim in the water, people walk in the world, bitter and happy, good and bad, only they know best.

think of such a short story:

A monkey left a wound after it was injured. When passers-by saw it, they came to care.

when someone asks, the little monkey will open the wound and show it to them. After seeing it, everyone sighed.

the little monkey thought he would get help. However, after a short stay, these people went on their way as if nothing had happened.

finally, the little monkey's wound was cut open again and again, resulting in infection and death.

the ending of the little monkey is very pitiful, but it also tells us a revelation: there is not so much empathy in this world.

when we show the wound to others, we may get a few words of relief at most, but no one really cares how much you are hurt.

the needle is not stuck on my body, but I just can't feel the pain.

Lu Xun described such a scene in "Miscellaneous feelings":

A man downstairs was sick to death, and a family in that room was singing a gramophone; opposite was playing with a child.

there are two people laughing madly upstairs; and the sound of playing cards.

there is a woman crying over her dead mother on the boat in the river.

Human joys and sorrows have nothing to do with each other.

to you, the big thing is just a story to others.

others don't know how you feel, and no matter how loud you scream, it's a waste of time.

there is a hot topic on Zhihu: why do you post less and less moments?

among them, there is a highly praised answer: if you are aware that something is wrong, you can have nothing to do with the speaker.

this huge world looks lively and prosperous, but in fact it is just one besieged city after another.

in this besieged city, everyone has his own joys and sorrows.

if no one else can get in, you can't get out.

most of the time, you have to do your best to defend your besieged city. There is no extra strength to solve the worries of others.

Yi Shu once said: "A mature person often finds that there are fewer and fewer people to blame, and everyone has his own difficulties."

in the adult world, empathy is the greatest luxury.

everything is hard, but you can only go through it by yourself.

02

when people are at a low ebb, do not disturb anyone

the ancients said: "those who respect others, people always respect them, those who complain, people always complain."

often complaining to others will not only lead to the dissatisfaction of others, but also make their own life worse and worse.

so, no matter how hard the day is, don't disturb others easily.

in Blessing, Mrs. Xianglin lost her only son and said to everyone, "I'm so stupid, really."

at first, people still had some sympathy, but later, when they heard too much, they got bored. Sometimes she even suffers from cold words.

the more bad things happen to people, the less they should overestimate their position in the hearts of others.

No one wants to spend time with cumbersome people. If they complain too much, others will complain about you.

there is a saying in Historical Records: the world is all for profit, and the world is bustling for profit.

it is easy for people in the world to share happiness, but it is difficult to share adversity.

Liu Zongyuan, a poet of the Tang Dynasty, was born into a powerful family, became famous when he was young, and held a high position before the age of 30. The house is full of cars and horses every day, and the guests are like a cloud.

he wrote a "Theory of six adversaries" in an attempt to persuade the seriously ill Tang Shunzong to replace the crown prince. However, the "Yongzhen Revolution" completely failed, and his life-long exile began.

in the place of exile, he was dissatisfied with soil and water, gathered all kinds of diseases, and was soon in shape.

he was afraid of dying in this wasteland, so he turned to everyone he knew for help and wrote frantically to every former friend about his misery.

however, I didn't get a single word of reply.

the high-ranking friends of the past are full, but I am afraid to avoid them today.

such a strong contrast made him see clearly that the hearts of the people were cool and thin.

there is a saying in Caigen Tan: "Hunger is attached, satiety is raised, hunger tends, cold is abandoned, and human feelings are common."

in this world, no one wants to have a deep friendship with people who are down and out. It is a common fault of human beings to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages.

usually we spend a lot of time and energy to maintain the so-called circle, but we don't know that human feelings are like a thin sheet of paper until you are in trouble and find that there is no one to rely on.

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there is a good saying: people support the road, push the wall down.

when people are at a low ebb, not disturbing others is the greatest decency left to themselves.

03

when people are at a low ebb, they must carry themselves through

Sanmao once said in "giving you a Horse": "what is the heart like? it is like a bewilderment that spans thousands of miles, in which there is no boat to cross people, and there is nothing others can do to help."

remember thisA short story:

A devout Buddhist disciple encountered difficulties, so he went to the temple to worship Guanyin.

when he entered the temple, he found that a man who looked exactly like Guanyin was also worshiping the Bodhisattva.

then asked, "are you Guanyin?"

the man replied, "Yes."

"but why do you worship yourself?"

"because I'm in trouble, too."

Guanyin replied with a smile, "but I know that it is better to ask for help than to ask for yourself."

Buddha has a saying: people are born to suffer.

when you are born in the world, you can't always be plain sailing, and you will always encounter all kinds of difficulties.

not all pain can be understood, and not all tiredness can be shared.

some people can "ferry" you for a while, but you are the only one who can "cross" you for a lifetime.

during the warring States period, Su Qin, a famous vertical and horizontal scholar, traveled for several years and returned from great poverty every time.

when he was most destitute, even his relatives abandoned him: his wife did not get off the loom, his sister-in-law did not give him food, and his parents did not talk to him.

Su Qin did not complain, because he knew very well that he was loved when he gained power and snubbed when he lost power.

if you want to get ahead, you have to carry all the warmth and warmth of human feelings.

that night, he dug up the Yin Fu Sutra written by Jiang Taigong, picked up the lamp and studied the vertical and horizontal skills.

when he wanted to sleep late at night, he stabbed himself in the thigh with an awl and bled up to his ankle.

A year later, Su Qin went out again and finally lobbied the six countries.

after he became famous, he returned to his hometown, where the sound of ridicule and contempt turned into praise and praise.

all the frustrations in life are not without hope.

Prosperity can help you achieve success more easily, but adversity can often inspire a better self.

people are at a low ebb, it is better to be angry than to be angry, it is better to change than to complain, and it is better to rely on others than to rely on yourself.

when you go through all the darkness alone, you will find that the suffering you once thought was not worth mentioning at all.

as Tagore said:

writer Martin said:

"every powerful man has clenched his teeth for a period of time when there is no help, no support, no one asks for warmth."

in life, suffering is temporary, not permanent.

when people are at a low ebb, don't always think about letting others share your pain; no matter how difficult the road is, you have to go on your own; no matter how hard life is, you have to go through it by yourself.

A mature person should understand that some things can only report the good news but not the bad news, some responsibilities must be borne by themselves, and some hardships can only be endured alone.

if you encounter troughs for the rest of your life, may you be able to suffer without saying anything, pain without saying a word, carry it through, and achieve a better self.