"son, please marry an excellent girl," his mother said, warning countless boys.

in the recent hit TV series "Golden years", Liu Shishi plays Jiang Nansun, a rich girl who has a love story with a poor boy.

Jiang Nansun lived in an old house in Shanghai. He was spoiled from an early age, studied the violin and attended a famous school. Although her boyfriend Zhang Anren is talented, he comes from a humble background. He is not only disliked by his future father-in-law, but also quarrels with Jiang Nansun over consumption values and values.

their final relationship failed, not because he was poor, but because of his inferiority complex and selfishness.

my son occasionally took a peek at the TV show. When he watched this segment, his small figure sighed and said, "is it true that boys can't find rich or better ones, or else life will be difficult?"

after listening to his words, I think the children's words Wuji are very funny. After careful consideration, thinking about the concept of mate selection, to some extent, it means that a person's attitude towards the opposite sex is more likely to determine who he chooses to work with for the rest of his life.

it is a great blessing for him to have the honor of meeting an excellent person.

after thinking for a long time, I wrote him a letter.

01

Love is not "accepting", but trusting

son, I know what your concern is. It's probably the same joke as the male friends around me: find someone better than you, "can't keep her down".

some people think that if you find someone worse than you, she has to listen to you, find someone better than you, and you have to listen to her.

from a male chauvinist perspective, this sentence seems to make sense. When a man is in charge at home, he has to find an "obedient" wife.

but dear child, you should know that high-quality and mature intimacy is not a uniform, but a battle between two independent souls.

the essence of love is tolerance, understanding, respect, not control, manipulation, possession.

if you meet an excellent girl and fall in love with you, that's a good thing and a sign of your own light. What you need to do is not to bring her down to your level, but to raise yourself to the same level as them.

Chen Ming, the debater in the wonderful work, which my mother likes to watch very much, is a doctor. He is brilliant and brilliant. In fact, his wife is better than him, his wife is a postdoctoral, 7 years older than him.

but this does not affect the harmony between them, and they have never compared who is better. Two people are just trying to do their best in their respective fields.

No matter who is good or who is older, men have to stand up in a family and take care of their wives and children.

as a "younger brother", Chen Ming knows how to take care of his wife and care about his wife's emotions. No matter how tough you are outside, you have to be the wife's "punching bag" when you get home.

it's not a skill for a man to be in charge at home. It's up to you outside. You can only live a good life if you listen to your wife at home.

when you love a girl with respect, you don't think about what you can't do. You will even find that it is too happy to be "subdued" by a girl and love a girl well.

02

to marry an excellent girl, you can't just "be nice to her"

Mom, as a woman, naturally understands that women are in a weak position in love and marriage, and that some girls are actually very good at "cheating".

No matter how successful they are in their careers, they may be naive girls in love. As the Internet said: if she is not deeply involved in the world, take her to see the prosperity of the world; if her heart has vicissitudes of life, take her on a merry-go-round.

throughout the love or marriage of many women who are superior to men, there is one similarity, that is, girls think that boys are "nice to her", which is enough.

there is a girl around me who is very well-off, but insists on marrying a boy who has nothing to do and fooling around all day, just because "he is good to me".

son, you know, "be nice to her" is her advantage, because she is good enough to attract you, not your advantage.

if you want to fight side by side with her and work together, you need to have your own excellence. Although true love is unconditional, two people who meet in adulthood always go through a conditional process before unconditionally.

as a man, you should take care of a girl, which should not be a means in your relationship, let alone a key point to attract a girl.

knowing how to respect girls is a quality that every boy should have, not as a trait of "accepting" girls.

you should have your bright spot to make the girl feel that she has made the right choice and that she can meet happiness with you.

if you are only good at courting and fawning on girls, then when your passion withdraws, your souls have nothing to attract each other, only quarrels and disgust.

of course, you should not feel that there is no advantage other than "being nice to her", let alone give up because you are inferior to her.

A good marriage is when you all believe that you are good enough and your life will get better and better in the future, rather than getting married like helping the poor.

03

falling in love with excellent people will make people grow up

in our family, it happens to be the so-called "strong women and weak men". The wages of mother and father are about the same, but the income of mother's sideline writing almost exceeds that of the main business.

Mom keeps learning new courses and buying new books to recharge herself in order to write. After you fall asleep in the dead of night, your mother always gets up to read and write.

son, have you ever seen your father have a trace of inferiority and mockery?

he never felt that a woman in the family would "change the weather" or put pressure on himself after she was better than the man.

on the contrary, when I am busy, he does housework, so that I do not have to worry about, whenever I am anxious and helpless, he can always bring psychological comfort.

after seeing my growth, he will follow in my footsteps and learn to recharge together.

do you know? Every weekend when you go to cram school, if a parent in the waiting area is different from other parents, they are either working with a computer or listening to a lecture with a mobile phone, that person is probably your father or mother.

son, you can boldly find an excellent girl, as long as you have the same values and like-minded. High-quality love itself will make people grow.

what boys want in marriage is the "sense of being needed", while women want "sense of security" in marriage. For better love and better giving, you will grow in love.

when you stand with a good girl, her light will naturally make you forge ahead.

it's not shameful to marry a good girl. What's shameful is that you're afraid of not being good enough. You just want to get satisfaction by suppressing the girl's self-confidence.

if you are really lucky enough to meet such a girl, remember to encourage yourself to grow up with her and let your souls be on the road with the values.

04

Feel perfectly fashionable in short sleeve v neck gown for wedding. Find a design that is perfect for you, they will bring a whole new level to your wardrobe.

any marriage is not a lifetime meal ticket

A popular saying on the Internet is that marrying an only child is equivalent to marrying a cash machine.

because the only child means that there is no such thing as "supporting the devil" such as brother-in-law and brother-in-law, and they tend to receive better educational resources from an early age.

more importantly, all the property and relationships of parents-in-law are equivalent to being "married" at once.

does finding a good girl really mean 20 years less struggle?

Marriage is not a tool for transition, but a boat for you to roam in love all your life.

the people who are on the ferry with you, it's good to bring their own food, but it's no excuse for you to sit back and eat nothing.

how easy it would be if marriage were such a simple transaction! But in fact, in the end of the intimate relationship, only two "people" are left to get along with each other.

you will find that it is not your parents' wealth that determines your happiness, but whether you two can attract each other and snuggle up to each other.

son, a good marriage is very important. But your "door" is not your parents' property, but the highlight of you as a person.

the real excellence is good character, hard work, correct values, and hope that the girl you fall in love with has the same "door" as you, or the "door" you yearn for.

marrying a girl who is inferior to you does not show your sense of superiority. Finding an excellent girl as a partner does not affect your brilliance.

there is such a joke on the Internet: a man's struggle with whether he can marry a woman who is better than himself is equivalent to low achiever's struggle with Tsinghua University or Peking University. You have to think about it. Have they accepted you?

not only do you not be afraid to meet excellent girls, but also try to get tickets and give yourself the right to choose.

as a boy, you should support the whole family, protect your wife with a sense of responsibility and love, and support this marriage. Don't let other girls marry you is tantamount to being married to the wind and rain.

whether excellent or not, girls want to be "a girl until death". I hope you know how to respect, love and accept, so that after marrying you, a girl will always be as pure as a girl and as sincere as a girl.

I also hope you can grow and transform together.