The first greeting of an old friend is: "borrow some money."
"if you want to find it, don't wait."
Wen /Zhang Jingzhi
play a Chinese song that I like very much today
one.
A reader told us backstage that he did not understand why people who are more likely to lose their temper are more valued by others, while those who are more tolerant of others are more ignored.
he said he was a good-tempered man, but he was fed up with being ignored. But he was afraid that if he broke out, his friends would leave him. "what should I do?" he asked.
I replied, "what are friends who are leaving because they can't stand their bad temper?"
there are always many bad people in the world who are willing to be bullied rather than bullied. There are many reasons for this character, one is because they are afraid that others do not pay attention, so they give desperately, so that others can not do without him; some people are more self-abased and feel that they have made friends, so they are willing to be stepping stones to them.
I used to love to bully those honest people. Although I thought of them as good friends, I often challenged their patience and made fun of them when I had nothing to do.
until once on the way to the canteen, I joked with my friend that he was really sorry to his family.
he immediately turned black and said to me very seriously, "it really hurts when you talk sometimes."
I asked him, "really?"
he, who seldom used foul language, made a foul language: "really, and this is not the first time."
only then did I realize how stupid I am. I always regard the tolerance of others as a passport to gain an inch. In fact, that friend should have broken up with me, because I would have beaten each other several times, but we are still very good friends, because he is still "honest" as always, pretending to forget all the bad things, so that I can continue to pretend to be a good friend from beginning to end.
so if your friends don't want to be your friends because of your intolerance, then they really don't deserve to be your friends.
two.
the older I get, the fewer old friends I have.
it's not because my feelings have faded, but because I deliberately have nothing to do with some of my former friends. I didn't plan to save their phone number in the first place, and sometimes I don't even want to add their Wechat.
because there is something, it is much more enjoyable for you to leave it in the past than to force it out to catch up.
I used to think it was too impolite not to add others on Wechat, so I passed the verification by the friends of several junior and primary school classmates. Today, when I was sorting out my address book, I found that we didn't say a word at all. He sat in the driver's seat every day to shoot the road scene, and I was talking to myself every day, even if it was the relationship between one second and the next second in our circle of friends. We don't like each other.
he hasn't seen my mess, and I don't want to know about his afternoon tea.
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so ignoring each other is our best choice.
when I went to eat sushi with my cousin the day before yesterday, he said, "I have a good friend in junior high school. We used to have a really good relationship, but now everyone's experience is different, and there is only one topic left between him and me."
I asked, "what's the topic?"
he sighed and said, "borrow some money."
in fact, you can't blame them or me, because when you find that the world can be so interesting, you know that no matter how boring your life is, you will never forget the shocking fun. You can no longer blend in with their boredom.
three.
in fact, friends are not "impossible to meet".
it was interesting to see a topic in Zhihu: "will a college student who doesn't play lol or basketball really affect his interpersonal relationship in the future?"
the subject says that he is an undergraduate in an ordinary university, and the people around him either like playing LOL or playing basketball, and he is really not interested in the above two things. He is afraid that he will lose the common topic with others and that it will affect his future interpersonal relationship.
in fact, I also worried about this problem when I was a freshman. Although at that time I not only played basketball, but also played LOL into diamond segments, but in a year, I and professional people do not know all about it, let alone know some friends of other majors.
because not only did I not join the student organization at that time, but also the billiards club I joined did not participate in their activities once.
but now I know a lot of friends who also like writing, even new media. Sometimes we only know each other for a month, and if we have nothing to do, we can ask each other if we want to come out for dinner and chat, because only when we all have similar aspirations can we know what it means to meet each other too late.
so you can try to spend ten times more energy than usual on something you like. It will determine how many people can find you. Then you will know that friends are found, not by fate.
"if you're looking, don't wait."