The hardest thing in life is to defeat yourself.

recently, I saw a video of Professor Chen Guo's lecture in Fudan.

she says that both great scholars and successful businessmen often say the same thing: the hardest thing for a man is to defeat himself.

Why is it difficult?

because if you want to defeat yourself, you must first know yourself.

Laozi said: those who know others are wise, those who know themselves are wise; those who win are strong, those who win by themselves are strong.

people can overcome themselves only by knowing themselves, examining themselves inward, and seeing weaknesses and deficiencies.

01

overcome one's arrogance

some time ago, the news that you, the chairman of a real estate enterprise in Hunan, passed away suddenly made many people sigh.

in the early morning of one day, you, who was busy with work, suddenly felt unwell and hurried to the hospital.

who knows, the examination report is not optimistic, such as "sinus rhythm, myocardial ischemia, abnormal ECG" and so on.

the doctor advises you to be hospitalized immediately, otherwise there is a risk of sudden death.

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however, you disagreed, firmly disagreed with hospitalization, and even thought that the doctor was trying to cheat himself.

in desperation, the doctor had no choice but to get him to sign a submission refusing to stay in hospital.

after returning home, you even posted a post on moments mocking the doctor, "my daughter is still young and my wife is still young. God forbid it!"

between the lines, there is arrogance and disdain.

unexpectedly, only five days later, you died suddenly.

A successful person in the eyes of the world lost his life in vain because of his temporary arrogance.

his misfortune is not caused by lack of culture, but because he is too confident in his knowledge, overestimates his ability, and finally has to pay a heavy price for it.

this arrogance is essentially a lack of self-awareness.

writer Liu Cixin wrote in "three bodies": weakness and ignorance are not obstacles to survival, arrogance is.

the more ignorant people are, the more arrogant they are, and the more mature they are, the more modest and introverted they are.

02

overcome one's own prejudices

thinker Francis Bacon said:

Prejudice is like an invisible cage. Only by letting go of prejudice can one break through the prison of stubbornness and meet a better self.

netizen @ Liu Coke has an egg who has shared his experience.

when they were in college, there were two foreign teachers in their class who stood out. One was Freddy, an American with dark skin, thin and tall, always dressed in a suit, and always tidied himself up in "elite style."

he often wears an American flag badge on the neckline of his suit.

according to him, this is to remind himself of the pain caused by racial discrimination.

the other is James, a Canadian who is bald and fat, slovenly and funny all day long, and can always make everyone laugh with subtle jokes.

at first, Liu Ke and his classmates preferred the approachable James and thought that the American teacher Freddy was too artificial.

until one day, Freddy happened to talk to everyone about "superiority and prejudice". He said:

Liu Coca-Cola was surprised. In his impression, this was completely unlike what an elite Freddy would say.

he suddenly realized that he had always regarded the American teacher with prejudice.

although one of the two teachers is casual and the other is exquisite, it is not directly related to who they are, nor is it the reason why they are denied and hated.

there is a line in the movie "Nezha":

when a person looks at things with prejudice, his cognition becomes narrower and narrower.

but when a person breaks his prejudices and takes off his tinted glasses, he can see the breadth of heaven and earth and the color of the world.

03

overcome one's own desires

people's desires are divided into high and low.

indulge in low desires and seem to be happy for a short time, but in the long run, it is a waste of time and life.

teacher Luo Xiang gave an example in his lecture:

if you were asked to enjoy one of the vulgar novels, Guo Degang crosstalk and Shakespeare's classics that pay attention to sensory stimulation, which one would you choose?

what most people really think is the first two.

but if you could only choose one of the three, which one would you choose for posterity?

most people would choose Shakespeare's classics.

thus it can be seen that happiness that embodies human dignity is the real happiness.

the same is true in the face of desire.

Liang Qichao once said:

"one should keep courage and not be held back by inferior desires."

once you are dragged about by the lust of material boredom, then it will become soft and soft. "

as the saying goes: the sea accepts all rivers, there is tolerance; the wall stands a thousand feet, and if there is no desire, there is strength.

restraining desire is a kind of realm, a kind of bearing, and also a kind of fulfillment of a good life.

because there is enough wisdom and concentration to distinguish what is greed and what is indulgence, people can jump out of the world, get rid of obsession and achieve a higher leap.

04

overcome one's own emotions

A person's life has joys and sorrows, joys and sorrows, joys and sorrows.

A mediocre person becomes a slave to emotion, making his behavior subject to emotion and paying a heavy price for being out of control for a while.

Wise triumph over affectionDon't be impatient, deal with it rationally, and stick to your heart in the chaotic world.

there is a short story called "Fools buy Wisdom" in the Book of morality.

A villager has made a windfall. It is said that you can buy wisdom when you go to the city.

he believed it and asked everyone where there was wisdom to buy.

A philosopher told him: "the so-called wisdom is that if you encounter something difficult, do not rush to deal with it, you can first take seven steps forward, and then seven steps back, so that three times, wisdom will come."

this man is doubtful.

that night, when he got home, he found that his wife actually slept in the same bed with someone else.

he was so angry that he was about to cut the knife. He suddenly remembered the "wisdom bought" during the day and thought he might as well give it a try.

he first took seven steps forward, and then seven steps back. Only after advancing and retreating three times did he see clearly that the one who slept with his wife was his old mother.

if he hadn't calmed down in time, the consequences would be unimaginable.

as Napoleon said:

everyone has an emotional outburst, do not give up reason, do not act impulsively, this is the expression of responsibility for themselves.

05

overcome one's own limitations

people always stumble all their lives.

No one's life is always plain sailing, and no one's world is always full of birds and flowers.

the hardest thing is to persist in pursuing the light through the cracks in the face of adversity.

when Shi Tiesheng, a famous writer, was 21 years old, he had to be in a wheelchair because of illness, which was a great blow to a young man in his prime.

Shi Tiesheng did not recover from his down. after returning to his hometown of Beijing, he still persisted in working in a furniture factory and supported himself by painting furniture.

Shi Tiesheng in life never leads a negative life because of physical pain. When friends come to see him, he cooks for everyone in a wheelchair.

writer Wang Anyi once recalled that the first time I went to see Shi Tiesheng, I thought he would talk about his miserable life, but the two people chatted happily about "how to eat dumplings."

as he said:

"Life is a process, a process that constantly transcends its own limitations, this is fate, and everyone is the same. In this process, we encounter pain, transcend limitations, and then feel happy."

Life is not as good as expected. It may be a congenital physical deficiency, a lingering psychological shadow, or a loss that can not be lost after repeated attempts.

if you are trapped in the limitations set by fate all the time, people will be useless.

in the limitation, the one who breaks the game can only be himself.

there is a good saying: you must try your best to move forward, although you may not be able to change the world, at least will not be abandoned by the times.

when we accept the pain and actively put it into action, the hills of life will eventually be climbed.

some people say that the first half of life is to defeat others. The second half of life is to defeat yourself.

most people spend their whole lives burying their heads through hurdles and practicing their hearts.

instead of trying to compete with others, it is better to calm down and achieve a better self.

those arrogances, prejudices, desires, emotions and limitations are not stumbling blocks, but grindstones.

as long as we accept ourselves and refine ourselves, life will eventually give us the best gift.