To be a man is not to be full, but to be short of everything.

as the old saying goes, "when the water is full, it will overflow, and when the moon is full, it will be lacking."

once the water is too full, it will overflow; once the moon is full, it will be short of the moon.

it's the same with being a human being.

if you speak with a ruler, you will hurt others; if you do things with moderation, you will hurt yourself.

it is a wise attitude towards life to leave a "gap" in everything.

01

do not say all the words

there is a saying in Daojing: "those who know do not speak, those who speak do not know."

the so-called wise people don't talk much, and those who talk much don't have insights.

leaving room for speech not only takes into account the face of others, but also reflects one's own self-cultivation.

writer Gan Bei once told a story about a little dream from a high school classmate.

Xiao Meng's father works as a security guard in the bank.

every time someone asks about her father's career, out of adolescent sensitivity and inferiority complex, she always lies to the public: "Dad is a clerk at the bank counter."

occasionally I deliberately remind everyone: "my father works in a bank, and if he needs change, I can help."

in fact, everyone knows that her father is a security guard, but they understand each other without revealing it.

remember once, everyone went to eat Spicy Hot Pot.

on the road, everyone was laughing and laughing, very lively.

at this time, Xiao Meng happened to see her father coming from afar in a security suit.

at this time, she blushed with shame and froze in place with embarrassed face, as if to find a hole in the ground.

suddenly, another girl smiled and said, "come on, let's go to the supermarket next to us."

so, without waiting for her to make a sound, everyone pulled her in the direction of the supermarket.

during the three years of high school, everyone silently protected her fragile self-esteem, and no one exposed her lies.

at the classmate reunion a few years later, when talking about the past events of her schooldays, she was very grateful to her classmates and felt warm to protect her self-esteem.

it is not only a kind of kindness, but also the wisdom of dealing with the world.

keep your mouth shut and take into account the feelings of others so that you can enjoy each other.

Hemingway once said, "it took us two years to learn to speak, but it took us sixty years to learn to shut up."

in many cases, instead of embarrassing each other with a moment of rapidity, it is better to pretend not to know and be silent at the right time.

there are some things that you just need to know, and you don't have to say everything.

knowing but not speaking, speaking with a ruler is the highest practice of being a man.

02

once, when the rose dew in Mrs. Wang's room was lost, Wang Xifeng asked Lin Zhixiao's family to investigate the matter.

during the investigation, someone reported that the five sons of the Liu family were acting suspiciously, and the Lin Zhixiao family ordered someone to search the kitchen and happened to find a bottle of rose dew.

so, everyone decided that Wuer was the thief, and locked her up, waiting for Wang Xifeng to be released.

later, when he came and went, the case was handed over to Ping er.

Ping thought it was strange, so he secretly investigated the whole story.

after investigation, it was found that Wuer was wronged, and the rose dew in her hand was a gift from Fang Guan.

and the real thief was Caiyun, but she was instigated by Aunt Zhao to steal Mrs. Wang's rose dew.

Ping thinks again and again that if Aunt Zhao's crime is investigated, it will certainly hurt the face of Aunt Zhao's daughter Tan Chun.

Pinger discussed countermeasures with Baoyu, who had always taken care of incense and cherished jade, and it was up to him to "carry the pot", that is, to declare Baoyu to be a "thief".

however, the real thieves cannot be allowed to get away with it.

so Pinger called Caiyun and said to her in front of insiders, "everyone knows what you did, and it was only for the sake of the overall situation that you deliberately suppressed things, so you made mistakes and asked Baoyu to be a" bad guy. "

I hope I can correct my mistakes, and if there is a next time, I will punish them severely. "

Pinger handled the incident on the right scale.

not only took care of the face of Tan Chun and Aunt Zhao, but also returned the innocence of the Liujia Wuer, but also cleverly warned Caiyun, its ability to do things is evident.

Pinger behaves in the world, can take into account the overall situation, know how to give others steps, leave leeway everywhere, but also leave a way back for themselves.

later, the Grand View Garden declined, and Pinger, who was in trouble, was helped by everyone.

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if you leave a way for others to do things, you can accumulate a little blessing for yourself, and the road of life will become wider and wider.

as the saying goes, "when the water is clear, there is no fish, and when people observe, there is no apprentice."

in everything, it is too much to go too far.

Don't do anything, build a bridge for others today, and when you encounter wind and rain, others will hold an umbrella for you.

to keep decency for others is to accumulate good fortune for yourself.

03

I am deeply impressed by such a Zen story in the

there was a young monk who meditated and chanted sutras day and night. He thought he was the most diligent meditator, but he was not enlightened.

he was puzzled, so he asked the Zen master for advice.

after listening to this, the Zen master took out a gourd and a handful of salt and said to the little monk, "fill the gourd with water, pour the salt in, and let the salt melt immediately."

the little monk immediately followed the instructions of the Zen master.

before long, he came back and said dejectedly, "I put salt in the gourd."Oh, it can't melt all the time. The mouth of the gourd is too small and the water is too full to stir even the chopsticks. "

the Zen master smiled but said nothing, took the gourd from the little monk's hand, poured out a little water, then shook it a few times, and the salt melted slowly.

the young monk was still puzzled, so the Zen master explained, "if you work all day and leave no leisure, it is like a gourd full of water. If you can't stir it or shake it, how can you be enlightened?"

at this time, the little monk suddenly realized and gave himself some leeway, leaving room for understanding, which is the foundation of enlightenment.

everything is not perfect, but it is good to seek eight points.

seeking a little defect and knowing that enough is enough is the wisdom of contented life.

there is a saying in Caigen Tan: "the flowers are half blooming and the wine is a little tipsy."

the flowers are most beautiful when they are half-blooming, and they feel best when they are half-drunk.

Life is not full, will not be full, is the way to complete life.

04

leave a "gap" in life

Daojing says: "if great success is lacking, its use is not bad."

perfect things in the world are incomplete, but it is because of this that they will never fail.

the same is true of life, leaving a "gap" in words and doing things, leaving a gap for yourself and others to move forward and retreat freely.