To be able to speak is an instinct, and to be able to speak is an ability

Zhu Ziqing wrote in "talking":

speaking is not an easy task. If you talk every day, you don't necessarily know how to speak.

many people have spoken all their lives without saying a few words.

speaking is a human instinct, and being able to speak is a kind of self-cultivation.

A person can win hearts and minds only if he can say "bad words are easy to say, cruel words are soft, and long stories are short".

01

it is easy to say bad things

. It is not necessarily non-gossip. Most of the time, it is not good to directly say something that warms the heart, but it is difficult to say it.

not long ago, my doctor friend told me a story:

A patient went to see Dr. Zhang of Nail Milk. Dr. Zhang glanced at the patient's ultrasound results and said directly, "nine times out of ten, it's malignant."

the patient was nervous, trembling and whispered, "will it really be?"

Dr. Zhang said, "it's useless to be afraid. It's really vicious. Did you jump off the stairs?"

the patient was so scared that he squatted on the ground. My friend walked over, helped her up and whispered:

the patient was in a much better mood under the persuasion of his friend.

the same patients feel very different when they meet different doctors.

some doctors feel that they have seen more life and death, do not take into account the feelings of patients, think that patients will have to bear sooner or later, and casually say anything.

some doctors can speak less bluntly from the patient's point of view and try to get the patient to accept it slowly.

people who can't speak always go straight and poke people's hearts; those who can talk warm people's hearts by saying bad things for the better.

in the variety show "CCTV host contest", Dong Qing's comments are always mild and objective, each time praise and affirm the contestants first, enhance their self-confidence, and then give their own opinions and opinions appropriately. Each contestant accepts "criticism" in a relaxed and happy context.

likes a sentence very much:

means: good words should be expressed well, don't get it wrong, and bad words should be expressed well so as not to cause harm to others.

02

say cruel words

famous psychologist Marshall Luxembourg said:

maybe we don't think our way of talking is violent.

but words do often cause pain for themselves and others.

when we were young, our father was very strict with us. At that time, my father's way of education was simple and rough, failed the exam or made a mistake accidentally, either scolded or beaten.

in our memory, he released cruel words, such as "I will not spare you if I fail again."

at that time, I particularly envied my neighbor Yuanyuan. Even if she failed the exam several times in a row, she would not be scolded or scolded by her parents. Her father could hold down the fire even if she was angry and whispered:

I was beaten. I wasn't happy, I didn't concentrate in class, and her grades didn't improve. Yuanyuan didn't get beaten, but made a lot of progress.

in life, people who speak cruel words can only bring pressure to others and leave a shadow in their hearts, while those who know how to speak cruelly and softly can make people feel relaxed and will not hurt their self-esteem.

Last September, the school gave a demonstration class to newly enrolled teachers.

Xiao Li, a new teacher, already lacks the experience of organizing teaching. In addition, she speaks in a low voice and faces a first-grade child. The classroom is completely out of control, and it turns into a pot of porridge. After one class, she herself is sweating anxiously. The teacher also felt very unhappy.

she was very nervous and ready to be criticized. In the case of all the teachers' poor reviews, the headmaster only said one sentence:

what the headmaster said made Miss Li feel a lot more relaxed. She thought she would hear a worse comment or be fired.

people who can speak euphemistically say bad comments euphemistically and softly, which will not cast a shadow on people's hearts, but will give people confidence and encouragement.

03

to make a long story short

there are several sentences in Mozi's later words:

the bird asked, "is it good to talk too much?"

Mozi said, "Toads, frogs and flies, chirp day and night, dry mouth and tongue, but do not listen. Watching the morning chicken today, it crows at night, and the world vibrates. What's the point of talking too much? Only when he said it. "

means that speaking is not about how much, but about timing, seizing the key, and telling the truth.

in life, many people don't pay attention to the length of time they talk for. One phone call, one video call, can talk for several hours, which is really a waste of time. Unconsciously at that time, they may remember that something important has been delayed later.

recently, my sister shared a happy thing with me:

since the epidemic, their company's meetings have been streamlined a lot, with no more than one video meeting a week, and each meeting lasts no more than half an hour.

each leader's speech is simple and concise, and the speeches of several leaders are directly reduced to one, two, and three.

the meeting style of not talking nonsense and making a long story short makes all the staff happy.

everyone spends the time saved in the meeting on business, which is a good thing for the company and for themselves.

in life, many people like to beat around the bush and talk about a generalist who can barely get to the point.

once heard a young man on the bus make a phone call:

first said he had just got off work and was a little tired;

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went on to say that he met someone who worked overtime last night and said something;

and then said where the car was parked, what happened;

maybe the person on the other end of the phone got impatient, so he got to the point and what time and where to have lunch.

A lot of nonsense will only waste other people's time. To make a long story short, it will make people feel free and happy.

04

Liu Yong said:

A person who can speak is always the one with the broadest mind and vision.

only those who are broad-minded can be kind-hearted, and only those with broad horizons can be fair.

only those who are both broad can be neither humble nor arrogant and speak to their hearts with their true feelings.

people who can talk can not only express their ideas skillfully, but also make people accept them happily, so that the communication between people can enter a virtuous circle.

speaking to the heart, is a person's top self-cultivation, he not only shows a person's wisdom, but also highlights a person's pattern.

Bad words are easy to say, but not piercing to the heart;

cruel and gentle words give people confidence;

long stories are short and comforting.

May you speak well, make others feel like a spring breeze, and make yourself happy.