What is husband and wife?

some people say that husband and wife are the most difficult relationships in the world.

this is true. When two unrelated men and women live a life together, they can't help but stumble.

Marriage is a mixed practice. If you haven't experienced marriage, it's not enough to talk about life.

01

consensus on mutual understanding

A reader once left a message backstage:

he has been married for 8 years, and when he listens to his wife's even breath behind him in the dead of night, he is lost in thought.

when he reached a certain age, he had to follow his parents' arrangement and marry a wife who had only known each other for three months and whose family conditions were suitable in all aspects.

before that, he had a girlfriend who knew and loved each other, but his mother did not like her and disliked that their family could not give him more help, so he would not allow them to be together.

the older generation advised him to live in love and run-in together. This is how we all come through.

time goes back to the present. He has lived with his wife for so many years and has a child, but they are only two people living together in the same room, not to mention worry about, not to mention emotional ripples.

husband and wife can't even quarrel. In a word, they never get into each other's hearts for a moment.

he told his wife that he had been promoted, and his wife would only reply "Oh";

his wife is relatively simple, and his usual dress makes him feel boring;

he thinks of his ex-girlfriend from time to time, and if he hadn't followed his parents' arrangement, maybe it would be a completely different life now.

what kind of marriage is the scariest? Marriage in which there is always a wall is the most suffocating.

husband and wife, you do not understand me, I do not understand you; you do not care about me, I do not care about you, become pure two people to live together, do not understand, do not appreciate, such a marriage is like stagnant water.

the most painful thing in the world is to be close to a person, but thousands of miles away from your heart.

A marriage without understanding and consensus is destined to be a tragedy.

Lu Xun had a love story with Xu Guangping when he left Japan to escape the marriage arranged for him by his family.

but the obsessive Zhu an lived a miserable life. She once said that she was a relic of Lu Xun.

but Lu Xun thought she didn't exist, and she had a marriage that existed in name only.

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the happiness of marriage begins with mutual understanding. Living with people who have no spiritual resonance is a waste of life and no fun at all.

02

righteousness

there is a saying: husband and wife are the same forest birds, and they fly separately in the face of disaster.

when life is in trouble and marriage is in crisis, we can understand that the husband and wife are separated.

but when the marriage encounters a severe test, two people who do not leave, protect each other and face together are closer to the essence of husband and wife.

in my eyes, the marriage between aunt and uncle is particularly respectable.

A few years ago, my aunt had a serious illness, and my uncle's performance made everyone approve of him.

when my aunt learned that she was suffering from cervical cancer, one night she called her uncle and said,

"now that I have this disease, I can't cure it. The key is to spend a lot of money. I don't want to treat it anymore. The youngest son in the family is in a tight financial situation. After I leave, you have to live a good life."

after the two men hugged their heads and burst into tears, the uncle said:

"who allowed you to give up? we have to treat this disease. We have to treat it no matter how much it costs. Don't worry about the money. I'll take care of it."

later, my aunt was admitted to the hospital. He had to work during the day and took care of her life at night.

every morning I would send the porridge stewed the night before to the hospital, and come back in the evening to bring the chicken soup stewed by grandma to my aunt.

when the money in the family ran out, he sold his favorite watch and paid his aunt's medical expenses.

more than a year later, under the careful care of my uncle, my aunt's condition gradually improved.

after the test of this illness, the marriage between aunt and uncle is better than before.

Auntie often said: "they are facing the test of life and death together. She would not have survived without her uncle, who is her savior."

I have heard a saying that the best state of marriage is not a lifetime of romantic passion, but full of righteousness.

this kind of crisis will not change because of the gap in strength between the two sides.

when Ge You became a movie star, someone asked him: why hasn't he changed his wife?

his wife, he Cong, is not really beautiful, but can only be said to be plain. Nowadays, standing next to Ge You is really a bit ordinary.

when the question reached his ears, he said:

"when people were in love with me, I was nothing. She followed me to share joys and sorrows without a word of complaint. Now that I'm all right, I've dumped him. We really can't do such a thing! "

Yang Lan said:

"Marriage needs another kind of bond besides love, and the toughest one is not children, nor interests and money, but loyalty that treats each other with all sincerity."

whether we are rich or poor, we can face it together. That's what marriage is all about.

03

the kindness of taking care of each other

the marriages of many people may not experience the hardships of great winds and waves for the rest of their lives, but will only be defeated by the daily details of daily life.

I know an aunt who is in her fifties and is divorcing her wife.

the reason is that I finally can't stand my husband's mentality of holding out his clothes and opening his mouth. Many times, she couldn't get up when she was sick, and she was needed to cook, otherwise everyone would be hungry.

she waited on him for decades, and now that her children have grown up, she has come to Beijing to work as a babysitter, earning 10,000 yuan a month.

she calculated an account. She had saved her pension money for a few more years. She could live on her own. Why did she devote her money to waiting on a giant baby like my uncle?

Marriage is a relationship of mutual giving, and no one can take advantage of marriage for a long time.

any unequal giving is a great hidden danger in marriage, and one day it will appear in a painful and embarrassing way.

once I met a couple who spent their old age hand in hand and asked her the secret of a long marriage.